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Om je te vermaken verzamelen we hier de domste DAU-uitspraken, stuur de jouwe naar \u003ca href=\"mailto:dau@getdigital.de\"\u003edau@getdigital.de\u003c\/a\u003e en we nemen ze op:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e1. Hoe kom ik van deze tabel af in Excel zodat ik iets kan schrijven?\u003cbr\u003e2. We hebben iets nodig waarmee je kunt downloaden, zoiets als Winzip.\u003cbr\u003e3Mijn modem maakt altijd rare geluiden als ik inbel...\u003cbr\u003e4. Ik heb geen internet, ik heb AOL.\u003cbr\u003e5. We hebben geen DSL nodig, onze grafische kaarten kunnen het helemaal niet weergeven.\u003cbr\u003e6. Kan het de router zijn die de pc van de leraar zo traag maakt? [De reden was: 4 keer M$ Powerpoint op de achtergrond\u003cbr\u003e7. Kan ik met mijn nieuwe CD-brander ook films van internet downloaden?\u003cbr\u003e8. Wat voor computer heb je? - Windows 98\u003cbr\u003e9. Vertel eens? Ik heb maar 512 MB RAM. Maar UT2004 heeft 5,5 GB nodig. Waar moet ik het installeren?\u003cbr\u003e10. Wat voor browser heb je? - Ik heb T-Online DSL\u003cbr\u003e11. Ik dacht aan een losse zekering \u003cbr\u003eomdat hij zo vaak vastloopt, toen heb ik de rode zekering (waarschijnlijk de 230V\/115V schakelaar) aan de achterkant van de PC vervangen en toen was er een knal \u003cbr\u003een rook en nu doet de PC het niet meer!\u003cbr\u003e12.(Let op: originele spelling) De computer is kapot! Kom hem onmiddellijk repareren, anders eis ik een schadevergoeding!!! De computer maakt lawaai maar de TV is zwart. (De monitor stond gewoon uit, verder niets)\u003cbr\u003e13. Welke PC heb je? - Windows XP - Klik dan op Start. - Er is geen Start, alleen een appel. \u003cbr\u003e14. Mijn digitale foto's zijn zo wazig als ik ze op de pc bekijk - is mijn computer overbelast? Ze zullen toch scherper zijn op een snellere computer?\u003cbr\u003e15. En nu zou je het volgende bericht op je scherm moeten zien: ... - Hoe kun je dat zien?\u003cbr\u003e16. Vraag van de klant: Is hier nog meer informatie over? - Mijn antwoord: Ja, natuurlijk, kijk maar op internet... - Klant: Kan ik hier zo'n internet krijgen?\u003cbr\u003e17. Klant: Mijn inval werkt niet meer! (verontwaardigd)\u003cbr\u003eAntwoord: Wat voor raid had je?\u003cbr\u003eKlant: Raid? Wat is een raid?\u003cbr\u003e18. \"Er is een stuk van mijn harde schijf afgevallen, er mist 60 GB! Ik wil meteen een nieuwe, anders bel ik een advocaat!\" (Opmerking: klant probeerde met Linux te spelen, vergat Grub... en toen miste er 60 GB onder Windows)\u003cbr\u003e19. \"Je bent vergeten de startknop op mijn harde schijf te installeren!\" - \"Welke startknop?\" - \"Nou, deze Vista is geweldig, maar de startknop ontbreekt!\"\u003cbr\u003e20. Kan ik een betere grafische kaart downloaden van internet?\u003cbr\u003e21. 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rest.\" Dit allesbepalende antwoord wordt gegeven door de gigantische computer Deep Thought na 7,5 miljoen jaar rekenen - helaas ook met de aantekening dat de uitleg van dit antwoord tevoorschijn zal komen zodra de eigenlijke vraag voldoende geformuleerd is.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOp de achterkant van het shirt staat toepasselijk: \"DON'T PANIC!\". 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